I have a Doctor appointment every week. I'm very High Risk. At every appointment we have an ultra sound. Each one shows the exact same thing. Baby's skull, kidney's, Stomach, Bladder, bones, and that very strong and continuous heart beat. The heart beat fluctuates, from 171 - 161 - to just recently 172. Nothing has changed drastically for the last few weeks. The one thing that is never ever seen is WATER! I asked today what my AFI was.... (amniotic fluid index). She said " HUN you don't have and index!" Oh yeah that is right... MY WATER BROKE! and evidently it won't replenish at all and I am leaking so that makes scenes I guess.
The doctor said the baby doesn't stand much of a chance and that he will have physical ailments and limitations. "Baby's with no fluid in the womb don't survive and if they do.... they will always suffer and have sever problems!" WOW, that makes feel like he is really pushing me to do something about it!!!! Like what, he already knows I have decided NOT to go into induced labor! Then he brings this up "The baby needs water, My Colleague....." AHHHHH there it is..... MY COLLEAGUE. What about your Colleague? You mean the one who conducts experimental procedures on pregnant women in desperation? "You should talk to my Colleague at least about the possibilities of replenishing the water supply" OKAY so stick your needles in me every week (which I have heard hurts like nun other! Then let it leak out as soon as it gets in!! So I finally speak up..."But since I have a tear in my sack won't it just leak out?" "Well, Yes, But some water is better than nothing." Really? I guess that is true but it feels so dangerous.
"I will schedule and consultation apt with your colleague to discuss the possibilities. But what are the risks?" He informs me that the risks are my placenta separating the rest of the way from my uterus, (causing baby to die) and the needles could cause infection (causing me to die!) I added those parentheses, they were my own thoughts! For dramatic purposes! But they are still true!!!
So tell what do I do? My insurance will cover it. And every week I will be poked with a needle and filled with salene which will leak out.... but some is better than nun right? I AM SO SCARED!!! They keep telling me my baby is going to die. But he hasn't yet!! And they don't understand that either. Please!!! I need help!!
P.S. I will be hospitalized from 24 weeks to whenever baby comes forsure! No leaving.
Hang in there Johanna. Have you discussed this with your bishop? What feelings do you have when you pray, when you've had blessings? Do you feel right about continuing the pregnancy and giving this guy a chance?
ReplyDeleteHave you looked for others specialists around the state/country? There may be other alternatives than what has been suggested. I will do a search for you to see what I can find. Right now I'd say go with the fluid. Give the baby the best chance possible. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
~Melissa Jones