Breaks My Heart

I want to sob! My husband and I just watched Quigley Down Under. GREAT MOVIE, until she tells the story of how she smothered her baby when the Indians attacked. AHHHHH! My heart nearly broke as tears streamed rapidly down my checks. I couldn't hear it! A sweet innocent baby dying like that! Then the DINGO's came!!! SHE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!! My heart broke into a million pieces! I was sobbing so hard that John thought I was having a heart attack. She did realize what she was doing and let the baby cry but the those stupid dogs kept coming! I was uncontrollable! Tears drenched my shirt and John's shirt and my face was stained and my voice was gone. I lost it big time.

Now I will admit that my biggest and deepest disgusts are helpless infants being harmed. It always kills me. The worst thing, is a helpless baby being treated in such manners! Am I the only woman that really gets urked by this? Am I overly senstitive to these things? I always have been like this. Nothing can ever change it! OH THE BABIES!

For the first time, I think I have realized what I am going to be faced with, in a few months. AND I don't think there is anyway possible for me to come out of losing such an innocent life! Especially if it is my fault, somehow! I have to do everything I can to get my baby here safe!  Why this? I can't do this!